Historically pilgrims would have made the long walk to Santiago de Compostela for religious reasons. Caminoways.com completed a survey of why modern pilgrims walk the Camino. Their responses showed the following:
- 28.2% – looking for a new challenge
- 28% – religious or spiritual reasons
- 17.8% – get away from their daily life and connect with nature
- 10.8% – health and exercise
- 4.6% – learn more about culture
- 1.9% – meet new people
- 8.7% – other
Why I am walking the Camino?
When I heard about the Camino, I was almost 1 year into my journey without Madeline. I was finding the grief was not subsiding but growing in intensity.
My first thought – I want to walk the Camino for REDEMPTION!
I was overcome with guilt.
Guilt that
- I did not see how intense her pain was
- I could not save her
- I had taken my children away from their childhood home (Illinois) and family
- I had not been open sooner with others about Madeline’s struggles
- I had been too hard on her,
- etc.
I had let three-headed monster into my mind – Could’ve, Would’ve, Should’ve. (He might have visited you before too!) I thought the Camino would cleanse me from the lies that Could’ve, Would’ve and Should’ve convinced me of. I was lost. I wanted to believe that some how walking 160 miles would redeem me, would make me worthy again to be called mom, to be alive. So I made plans that I would walk the Camino as tribute to my 50th birthday in 2019. Two and half years ago that seemed like forever. I was in such bad shape – mentally. I had lost my faith, but not my hope.
And here we are 10 days before I leave.
I am walking the Camino to show myself just what is possible (new challenge), thank God for the hope (spiritual reason), and reflect on where I go from here!
Buen Camino!
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